bumper sticker:
i dont have a drinking problem!
i drink
i get drunk
i fall down
NO PROBLEM!
a man walks down the street and sees a sign advertising $1 drinks at the pub, so he walks in and asks the bartender where the manager is and why the drinks are so cheap,
he says that "the manager is upstairs and what hes doing to my wife im doing to his business!"
what do you call a midget with a gun?
Sir!
So in the garden of Eden Adam was looking pretty bummed out, so God says to him "whats the matter Adam, you've got food beautiful animals around you, what more do you want?"
Adam says to God " yeah its all great but ive got no-one to share it with..."
so God says, "well, ive got an idea, this thing ill make for you will cook for you, clean for you, never talk back, always be happy to see you, look after everything for you, and please you every night..."
Adam gets excited and says "thats great! but whats it going to cost me!?"
God says " well, how bout an arm and a leg?"
Adam thinks about it and says "what will you give me for a rib?"