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anthony law

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THE LOVE DRESS

A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house.

She knocked on the door then immediately

Walked in. She was shocked to see her

Daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.

Soft music was playing, and the aroma of

Perfume filled the room.

'What are you doing?' she asked.

'I'm waiting for Justin to come home from work.'

The daughter-in-law answered.

' But you're naked!' the mother-in-law exclaimed.

'This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law explained.

'Love dress? But you're naked!'

'Justin loves me to wear this dress,' she explained.

'Every time he sees me in this dress,

He instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours.'

The mother-in-law left. When she got home she

Undressed, showered, put on her best perfume,

Dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay

On the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.

Finally, her husband came home. He walked in

And saw her lying there so provocatively.

' What are you doing?' he asked.

'This is my love dress,' she whispered, sensually.

'Needs ironing,' he said, 'What's for dinner?'

:slfg:

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Just for you Anthony (or your missus) here is an old one that I received the other day:

5 tips for women

1) It's important for a woman to have a man who listens to her needs,

2) It's important for a woman to have a man who buys her presents,

3) It's important for a woman to have a man who makes her laugh,

4) It's important for a woman to have a man who can fix things around the house,

5) It's important that none of these men know each other.

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Just for you Anthony (or your missus) here is an old one that I received the other day:

5 tips for women

1) It's important for a woman to have a man who listens to her needs,

2) It's important for a woman to have a man who buys her presents,

3) It's important for a woman to have a man who makes her laugh,

4) It's important for a woman to have a man who can fix things around the house,

5) It's important that none of these men know each other.

1) This is why men don't talk as much

2) This is why men buy a dozen

3) This is why men fart loudly

4) If you didn't keep braking things it'd fixed already

5) We're not schizophrenic.

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Just for you Anthony (or your missus) here is an old one that I received the other day:

5 tips for women

1) It's important for a woman to have a man who listens to her needs,

2) It's important for a woman to have a man who buys her presents,

3) It's important for a woman to have a man who makes her laugh,

4) It's important for a woman to have a man who can fix things around the house,

5) It's important that none of these men know each other.

Top 10 reasons a gun is better than a woman.

  • 10/ You can trade an old 44 for a new 22 and even get money back!
    9/ You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
    8/ If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
    7/ Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
    6/ Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
    5/ A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
    4/ Guns function normally every day of the month.
    3/ A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
    2/ A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
    And the number one reason a gun is better than a woman.
    1/ You Can Buy A Silencer For A Gun

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Top 10 reasons why a dog is better than a girlfriend:

10. A dog's parents will never visit you.

9. A dog loves you when you leave your clothes on the floor.

8. A dog limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink.

7. A dog never expects you to telephone.

6. A dog will not get mad at you if you forget its birthday.

5. A dog does not care about the previous dogs in your life.

4. A dog does not get mad at you if you pet another dog.

3. A dog never expects flowers on Valentine's Day.

2. The later you are, the happier a dog is to see you.

1. A dog does not shop.

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