Spink Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 So I found a recipe for fortune cookies, and thought U might give it a go next weekend. You have to write your own fortunes though, so, what would your fortune be? Help me out and give me some ideas! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron-Betta Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 don't eat the yellow snow? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livingart Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 don't eat the yellow snow? a frank zappa song Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darkfur Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 there is a great Simpsons episode where Homer becomes a fortune cookie writer. I can't remember any of his unfortunately. I do remember the gist of them though, they were stuff that was quite perceptive like: "you will be disappointed by the quality of prime time television tonight" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spink Posted May 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 Here's a couple I found on the net earlier today: There is no mistake so great as that of being always right Help! I am being held prisoner in a Chinese bakery. The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things The number-one fear in life is public speaking, and the number-two fear is death. This means that if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than giving the eulogy Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties Some of them are worth a giggle! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darkfur Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 Jerry Seinfeld said the one about the eulogy, not sure if he came up with it though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smidey Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 here's a few: if it's got tits or tyres your going to have problems! I cannot help you, for I am just a cookie. The best years of your life have already been lived. Your colon will self destruct in five seconds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darkfur Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 A closed mouth gathers no foot... A rolling stone gathers momentum... Gravity doesn't exist: the earth sucks... Clean mind, clean body: take your pick... He who laughs last is probably your boss all from: http://www.anvari.org/fortune/Fortune_Cookies/ I am still looking for the simpsons ones, I have found one of them: You will be aroused by a shampoo commercial Also You are about to get a papercut and food poisoning Why did you break my house in half? YOu will be charged a surprising amount for a sub-par meal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ira Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 There are no stupid questions, only stupid people. Note to self: Attention Deficit Disorder support meeting tomorHEY a butterfly! Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana. How do you keep an idiot in suspense? [see other side for answer] How do you keep an idiot in suspense? [see other side for answer] As a matter of fact I *AM* happy to see you... Think how stupid the average person you know is, and remember half the world is stupider. It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission Eve, you IDIOT! Do not eat this fortune. Why is there always corn even though I haven't had any in a week? Ok, they're not so much fortunes... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snake kid Posted May 14, 2009 Report Share Posted May 14, 2009 life is like a pineapple if you want to know why I'm not telling you. The greatest danger could be your stupidity. He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at. life is like a a banana nobody knows the horrible truth about where they really come from. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southerrrngirrl Posted May 14, 2009 Report Share Posted May 14, 2009 More Simpsons fortunes: The price of stamps will climb ever higher. You will invent a humorous toilet lid. You will find true love on Flag Day. Your store is being robbed, Apu. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.