In memory of Cash

[twinkles]

We said our final goodbyes to a loved member of our family a month ago, didn't want to post about it at the time. But here's his story to share now, he deserves to have it told just how special he was

i remember, as if it were yesterday

a trip to 'death row' for dogs, to see who could be saved

watching six puppies tear up and down, full of life

and trying to choose the three who would make it out

but distracting me from weighing up the merits of size, breed, temperament

was the gentle nudge of a soft muzzle on my thigh

i'd look down, and see your warm brown eyes, staring deep into mine

a tail wagging slowly, asking for a pat, no more

i'd give you a rub, then walk away, not wanting to look any longer

the pound worker would sigh and look down, knowing what must happen that day,

no question of it, for an old dog like you

but again and again, you'd be at my thigh,

and i had to admit, grudgingly, that i'd known it from the first, you'd be coming home with me

'too old, too stiff, too worn out' i reasoned, i knew i was setting myself up for heartache

but those eyes still shone out, with nothing but love to give

so home you came, to stay.

the pound worker had told us your story

too old and slow to be of use, exhausted after 14 years of loyal work,

they'd left you tied, outside the dairy, whether hoping someone would take you in,

or too cheap for a bullet, we'll never know.

a week sleeping on wet concrete had made your legs stiff and painfully slow,

so we lifted you into the car.

at home, after a bath, we gave you a proper check,

finding a mouth with only the stumps of a few teeth,

a crumpled up ear, showing the signs of having been shredded and stitched some time long ago

and realising you were stone deaf

off came the old leather collar, stiff and cracked, with the work dog chain welded on,

and off to the shop we went, for a new soft purple one with name tag.

'Cash' it proclaimed, after the musician

with a list of phone numbers and a note that you were deaf and very friendly

i worried you'd try to go home, confused by this new life as a pet

the second day you were here, we did lose you

you'd jumped the fence when i popped out, following as far as you could

and i found you standing on the road, looking lost

so relieved when you saw me, tail wagging frantically

the first walk we took, a group of cows appeared

your ears went up, a spring came into your step, and you hobbled after them,

ready to show what you could do

the confusion on your face when i ran after and called you back broke my heart

but over time, you learnt all we wanted you to do was relax

and you were able to lie in the sunshine without feeling guilty about skiving off

in time, your walk grew smoother, your jump got higher, and your coat shone

seeming as if the years fell away

and we dared to hope you'd be with us for a long time

you'd snuck so far into our hearts, you see

a constant presence, endlessly radiating love and comfort

your loyalty amazing me, as nothing that had gone before seemed to matter

and all you thought of was pleasing us

but then, nearly a year later, you slowed down again

finding it increasingly hard to make your body work when you wanted it to

your eyes were growing foggy, but they never lost their shine

we started leaving lights on to make sure you could see

the last few days, you started falling over when you went outside,

and we knew it was time

you fell over in the kitchen the next evening, and when i came to help

your eyes told me how much you wanted to stand, to come back to bed for me

but you just couldn't do it

so i picked you up and carried you there, and you snuggled up for a cuddle

making your funny purry noise you used to show you were happy

and then you were gone

we all gave you our final pats, and told you how much we loved you

i held one of those massive paws in my hand, and marveled again at the way it dwarfed my palm

finding it hard to believe you weren't here anymore

after the funeral, as word spread

you had many friends come to pay their respects

people not usually bothered by other peoples dogs

but seeing in you, something special, some rarely encountered spirit of overwhelming love and loyalty

the house was strangely quiet, gone were the soft sounds of your feet, your presence

i still find myself pausing by your bed

wanting to rub that crumpled ear once more

the short time we shared with you feels an eternity

and we will forever remember the lessons you showed us

of loyalty, of forgiveness, of courage at the end

but most of all, of what it truly means to love,

in the way that only a dog can

[Caryl]

[mitzy]

aww that brought tears to my eyes

RIP Cash

[MarkLB]

Twinkles, what a beautiful, heart felt story, you have made me cry....and that's not easy to do.

I've always adopted my dogs from the pound and always will.

You gave Cash exactly what he deserved, a comfortable loving home for his twilight years. Good on you 8)

Sleep well Cash

[Cricketman]

will..... not..... cry.....

DAMIT! lol, now look what you gone and made me do...

RIP Cash, if you see Uran on your travels, tell him he is still missed...

[MarkLB]

RIP Cash, if you see Uran on your travels, tell him he is still missed.

Please say the same to Sheba, Kruger and India if you see them.

[Southerrrngirrl]

Oh man. I was reading that (at work!) and felt the tears welling up and sorry I couldn't read anymore! RIP Cash.

That was beautifully written Twinkles. Sorry for your loss but perhaps a chance to take care of another retired old fella?

[twinkles]

if one comes along we will, but i'm not looking. I'm not dogless, couldn't stand that, still got my other boy, he's a big cuddly shepherd

[chaat]

I'm glad you saw past the used old dog, and saw how much love he still had to give. So many don't.

He passed well loved and loving.

RIP Cash.

now .. where are the tissues.

[phoenix44]

That is simply put the most beautiful bit of writing I have read in a very long time.

he must have been very special.

[Aquila]

Great...now I'm crying too!

Thanks for sharing Twinkles. I wish there were more pet owners like you out there

[Olly]

Twinkles that is beautifully written. My old huntaway is 14 and has the same attitude as Cash did. It's amazing how they can show you the adoration they feel for you just by putting their head in your hand, or leaning against your leg. I'm not a dog person but, even if he is smelly and dirty and his breath can almost make you throw up, there is something special about a wise old boy like that.

[Stella]

Twinkles, you really made me cry!

That is beautiful. And good on you for making an old dog so happy.

[Sarah]