I have a pair of rams who used to be a great pair - then the kids came along and it all went a bit rocky. Dad started beating up Mum and mum left him to raise the kids. Dad then killed off all the kids and Mum was given back. BUT he just keeps attacking her! I have tried seperating them by putting him in a breeding net giving her run of the tank, while he watched on in horror! I let him out and they were fine at first (first few minutes) but he back at her again!

Anyone got any tips on how to encourage these two to be the pair they once were?

Maybe dad is fooling around outside or is a alcoholic. Poor mum. You better get them a lawyer to divorce them :lol:

Kids will do that to a relationship

Counseling, perhaps?

I wonder if rearranging the tank like you do for other cichlids might work?

maybe you need to trade her in for a newer model :lol:

*runs back into hidey hole

my male will be like this after a failed spawn, and continue untill female is ready again. And once the fry and free swimming he usually takes charge then and female must be removed.

He might want to spawn and shes not quite ready yet, it happens with mine. Hes never caused harm during this though, and she doesnt get stressed out about it. He usually just chases her away from food (he wants her to spawn he should be letting her eat )

As long and shes not getting injured, and hiding somewhere in the tank and not coming out for food Id just leave them, when shes ready to spawn again his attitude will change. Not unlike alot of other species on this earth.

It had better be a good defensible hidey hole, Phoenix

It had better be a good defensible hidey hole, Phoenix

The bird is standing guard :lol:

Hmmm... the poopy bird, may have to rethink my strategy...

:lol:

thanks guys

He been trying to show off and she just keeps rejecting him. Then he throws a paddy and chases her around the tank, nipping at her. For a few minutes or so they are OK together but she is damn afraid/wary of him. Decided this morn to put her in the breeding net (removed him from it last nite) so that she could actually get a feed and have a break. Don't want to chance losing her, bloomin hard to find a replacement - she is a gold ram (not balloon) and carries the long fin gene. Gotta do a water change so will remove them both into a bucket and change the tank around before putting them back in.

Yea the kids did a great job on this relationship but they sure did pay - with their lives! (dad ate them)

Lets hope the love gets rekindled! Divorce lawyers cost too much (so i have heard).

Any more suggestions?

Are these fish in their own tank with no other fish?

You can try putting them in a larger tank so that the male will have a harder time guarding the entire territory and the females will have some place to hide and rest.

They in their own tank (kinda) just put in a couple of guppies as these tend to calm the rams down and they refocus their aggression towards the guppies rather than each other - the guppies couldnt give a damn :roll:

I was going to suggest adding some more fish as it tends to keep the pair together rather than apart, the most effective fish to do this would be adding more rams.. You can even add them in a tank next to the one they are in so they can see them as that is enough to make them feel threatened and gang up rather than beat each other up.

A bigger tank would lesson the potential damage to the female, or a divider until they are ready to breed and then remove it.