Laura

Aaargh! Our big tank appears to be infested with mozzies. Would anyone know how this could come about, and the best way to tackle the problem? Already I have an ominous red lump on my backside. It's unsettling how determined the critters are to get inside your underpants... Have I just set myself up for some embarrassing speculation about my suspicious rashes? :lol: I'm a one-man woman! Honestly!! Help...they've breached the coffee table! MA, save yourself! ...Fizzle....crackle...BOOM!...rumble.... Er...I'd like to point out that we are not under the ruthless tyranny of legions of crotch-biting blood-suckers. They have not, nor ever have, attempted to hook our brains up to electrodes and a microwave in order to control our actions. Indeed, they find the whole accusation of torture methods involving footage of Anna Nicole Smith as personally insulting, as everybody knows that was just a dirty smear campaign masterminded by Nemo and the hoplos. They are sweet and unassuming creatures, tragically misunderstood. We should all join them in one big group hug. Bring money. Laura

Thank you for welcomes, everyone We're planning to call our next two big fishies Jebus and Beelzebubbles! I know, apologies :oops: I did actually go into the 'Welcome' section, fully intending to write there, and I don't know what I did to get from there to...to...just shut up! I should have a court order against me, to keep me a mimimum of 100 metres away from anything with buttons on it. Cheers, Laura

1. Alan is an expert Morris Dancer 2. His favourtie singer is Val Doonican 3. He bathes only twice a year, opting to clean his toenails with his own front teeth 4. He has a chronic flatulence problem which threatens our relationship 5. He is currently walking around with a purple bra on his head, crooning 'I'm Every Woman' by Whitney Houston. Laura

Hello All! I thought I'd take the opportunity to introduce myself, while our 8kg ginger tom isn't hijacking my lap for attention, and ripping blobs of flesh out of my knees. I'm Laura, I'm Modern Angel's Girlfriend and I work in the hemorroids of the bowels of Hell (or Wellington Hospital). In two months we have gathered four fish tanks, including a deformed Zebra Danio with a beautiful personality and a sociopathic Mosaic Cichlid with an unhealthy interest in the boys from the Blues team. I believe it is the bad influence of the aforementioned cat.... Look forward to speaking with you, whenever I can wrest control of the 'pooter from Modern Angel! Cheers, Laura