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About LMCB

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  • Birthday 10/02/2010

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    A cage
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  1. LMCB

    The What's Up? thread.

    I can relate to that...
  2. LMCB

    The What's Up? thread.

    I am allowed out periodically - http://lilmaltcheeseball.tumblr.com/
  3. LMCB

    The What's Up? thread.

    Why do you not restore from the the backup you did just before you started altering the code? See, if I had been administered the lead pill that you suggested I would not be able to offer you this sound advice...
  4. Dear Rob Thank you for your concern, and I have indeed been remiss in my updates here, I have been toying with a new portal to the world called tumblr. The results can be viewed by clicking here
  5. Day seventeen of my incarceration: Today I was subject to torture by an instrument they call a 'violin' - the youngest of the humans was 'practicing' in front of my prison. I understand that one is supposed to become more accomplished with 'practice' but this was not the case. I suspect that the tempo of what can only vaguely be described as music was hastened as time progressed in order to make the 'practice' shorter - Silent Night will never be the same for me again... I feigned death in an attempt to distract the human from the screeching that was assailing my ears or at least elicit some sympathy from the other humans and encourage them to make her stop, but they did not notice. I will chew that instrument into indiscernible pulp, case and all when I am free of this cage...
  6. Day fourteen of my incarceration: Today my cage was dragged out onto the balcony where I could pay homage to the Great Glowing Orb. She who pays the vet bills muttered something about vitamin D but she obviously does not know that cats do not gain this from the Great Glowing Orb, only from their food, fool. Someone also put a stick and two pieces of bark in my cage - what do they think I am? A dog? My sojourn was not as pleasant as I would have hoped, as a cool breeze made it quite uncomfortable and then horror of horrors, I noticed that ants were starting to invade my food bowl. My attempts to attract attention to both these facts were ignored - I hope the ants get into their food... I will watch further Migou videos for future reference.
  7. *Note to self: Find incriminating photograph of Anthony in water at Pilot Bay to post on forum, and send brown bits out of litter tray at Christmas
  8. Day twelve of my incarceration: I was returned to the place that smells like dog yesterday, this journey had the possibility to be fraught with danger, as the elder teenager was wishing to control the vehicle for the journey. She has just acquired a piece of plastic they call a 'learners' which seems to give the holder the delusion that they can handle a vehicle in the same manner as the late Sterling Moss, or Ken Block. Despite the vehicle having what is termed an 'automatic gear box', she seems capable of making it hop down the road like an inebriated kangaroo. I vociferously opposed that she be able to control the vehicle and cause me more stress and injury, gratefully my concerns were felt to be valid and she was denied this opportunity. I now have another green bandage, that is lower down my leg, but has large amounts of annoying white fluff around the top in an effort to stop something they call 'chafing'. I have been making a concerted effort to cultivate a more pitiful look by making my eyes wider and keeping my mouth shut. Despite the colour of the drapery around my cage Jennifer, I do not think that purple is a colour that will show my gracious ginger fur to it's best advantage. The lady at the place that smells like dog did however, mention knitting, but I doubt it was in the context of attire.
  9. Tips non existent and therefore imaginary hat in homage to Ira, The Master of Sarcasm
  10. Day eight of my incarceration: My persistent complaints yet again go unheeded, and the teenagers who have taken up residence in the lounge adjacent to my cage mock me by imitating my pleas for release. They are supposed to be engaging in an activity called 'swatting' but seem to spend an inordinate amount of time gathered around a little folding appliance that glows. They occasionally burst into peals of uncontrollable giggling and snorting whilst pointing at the glowing thing and covering their mouths. I show my displeasure at this behaviour by relieving myself in front of them and deliberately making a half hearted attempt at covering it up, the squeals and fast evacuation of the room are some consolation for not being released...
  11. The litter is dustless and therefore it does not pose a problem, however I fear the glow from the display when using it may betray the fact that I have smuggled it into the cage.
  12. Day six of my incarceration: My gallant bid for freedom was thwarted this morning by the one called Warren, needless to say I summoned my most vehement hiss upon being apprehended and left copious amounts of ginger and white fur on his black jacket in disgust before I was stuffed unceremoniously into the small cage and returned to the place that smells like dog. I now have a larger bandage on my leg that is not supposed to restrict the flow of blood to my toes as the last one did because I could bend it. I find this new bandage most ungracious and unwieldy and quite unbecoming for a cat to have to wear. I have mentioned this several times, but again have been ignored. If I hear 'awww... look at the cute little blue fish' again, I fear I may vomit.
  13. Day five of my incarceration: Was taken back to the bad place that smells of dog this afternoon to have my bandage attended to as it appears to be slipping down my leg. My cage was put upon a chair tantalisingly near to large bags of cat food, but alas I could not reach any of them. The sycophant clinic cat they call Charlie took advantage of my incarceration in a smaller cage to taunt me. He may appear all sweetness and innocence, but he does not fool me. I have been returned to the cage in the lounge and ignored in favour of something on the big screen called 'rugby', once again my pleas for release go unheeded.
  14. Note to self - take KP off the A madagascariensis if available list and send special brown pellets at Christmas...
  15. Notes that the Federation Editor's logic is flawed, this could possibly be attributed to the cocktail of drugs she is taking to alleviate the pain from her prolapsed disk and lack of sleep? If I had opposable thumbs, does she really think I would still be in here? Note to self - cross her off my 'send chocolates for Christmas list', may send a special type of brown pellets to her instead...
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